No Hits Zones, part 2
By Maître Pierre
Not all are made the same ...
Experience in SM is not an easy topic. Experience in S&M and bondage is a more difficult topic.
Human bodies are all different. I have two examples in mind :
- In our stable, we have two female submissive that are completely different:
- - Submissive no 1 cannot deal at all with nipple clamp. Even the ones that barely squeeze her nipple, she cannot stand. Submissive no 2 can take any nipple clamp without any problems. Even the nastiest nipple clamp (I can barely stand the pain when I test them on my fingers).
- - On submissive 2, I broke a couple of flogger and paddle on her ass. It was never hard enough for her; I had to order some very nasty flogger to satisfy her. Submissive 1, I have to be careful when I flog her because the blood come easily at the surface of her ass and I can make her bleed way too easily, to her great regret!
Obviously, different persons will react differently to the same S&M plays.
Bondage wise, things are not better:
- - In a public play, we have witness a young and healthy submissive unable to have his hands over the height of his shoulder for more than 10 minutes, without his hands becoming cold and losing colors (a bad sign). Yet again, we have witness older submissive having his hands over his head for long time without any problems!!!!
it's impossible to generalise how things are going to happen with submissive. A submissive can be a man and it does not mean he will be able to take more pain than a woman in the same situation. Experience have thought us that submissive could or could not be able to take pain. Some could be more tolerant to it, others less and this from any gender!
I heard Dominants, men and women, saying that they are experienced and they can take any submissive and know what to do to be safe with them, whatever happen. For us, despite the fact that we have a stable of submissive, we regularly add new submissive into it. Each time we have a new submissive in our dungeon, we never take anything for granted. The exploration of pain and bondage with the new submissive is done slowly with great care. It is something we always have to do from scratch with the new ones.
It get worst; health, change of mood, the work of hormones, age, will make the reaction of a submissive change when submitted to pain or even bondage. Again, nothing can be taken for granted.
At the beginning of this article, I mentioned the word "experience". In BDSM, experience help to be safe but only when this experience is used wisely. Someone could have lots of experience with a long term partner, because of year of playing together, and be completely incapable to deal with a new partner, because the new partner does not react the same as the old one. Having lots of partner in BDSM isn't the best either because, even if you have had many short term partner reacting differently to your "care" since people reaction to S&M change all the time
Yet, in BDSM community, there are many people who have BDSM scenes and are safe in them. The morale here is clear; experience is good, but experience used WITH intelligence is better. A win/win situation!
Never ever take anything for granted in S&M and bondage. What is good with one submissive is not necessary good with another one. Hell, what is good with one submissive one day is not necessarily good another day with the same submissive!
A Dominant may have been with the same person for a long time, but it doesn't mean anything. Stay alert, never let your guard down and never take anything for granted.
As for submissive; your Dominant may be the best, but everyone have bad days and it is your job to warn your Dominant if something is wrong ... You don't want to use your safeword, well, use a slowword then. You don't believe in safeword? It is simple; if you get hurt, you will be as much responsible as your Dominant for your wounds.
It is ok to play hard, but if a S&M scene or a bondage scene becomes extreme, the more the danger levels are high. Experience is to know how to play safely, intelligence is to know when to stop!
Maître Pierre