Sexual play is part of the erotic life of many couples but the type of play will vary with age, life experience et availability of partners. Yet, sometime some things don't change and if some desire are not met, there is no pleasure.

This the case when somebody is stuck with a very precise fetishism. Are we all a bit fetishist?

What is fetishism?

There are many way to define fetishism but the best way to describe it is the following: To get pleasure or be sexually aroused, you must preferably or even exclusively use some inanimate object. A fetishist is someone who need that certain inanimate object to have sexual pleasure. Usually, without that object, a fetishist will not be aroused or get a "hard on" and will quickly lose all interest with the person he or she is supposed to have an intimate relationship. Often, the non-fetishist partner will discover some unusual behavior when there are sexual intercourse. Rachael, a 43 year old lady, confide in us about her latest "flirt": "I met Adam while we were having a small office party. He was introduce to me by a colleague that I don't know well. He was well dress and very seductive."

Beautiful legs and beautiful feet.

"Now I can remember that during our first meeting in a public place, he was unusually interested by my legs. He even complimented me about my legs. At that time, his compliment made me happy even if I am use to that, since I do have a reputation for having nice legs. We had a relationship for about a month and a half. One night, he invited me to his place for a coffee. We wanted to make love, but he needed to see and smell my feet making things so complicated that it didn't went well. To satisfy his need we had to use some very unusual position to make love. I got fed up with it and i told him that I didn't feel well in this. I left. I never called him again. Honestly, I now found him distasteful.

A fetishism that is not share by both partners will often have the effect of a cold shower on one of the partner because that partner will feel more like an object while having sexual intercourse. He or she will often feel that the only reason their partner is with them it is because of that physical particularity or because he or she is wearing some type of clothing.

Different type of fetishism:

• Fetish that are about a physical attribute (The most common):
Feet, breast, ass, legs...
• Fetish about a precise physical particularity:
No hair, hair color, pregnant women....
• Fetishism about an object:
clothing, shoes.....
• Fetishism about an action:
Shaving genitals, sucking breast......
• Fetishism about a character trait:
Woman that are authoritarian, snob man.....

For most, fetishism is consider like an handicap by the one who need to live an intimate and a sexual relationship. The fetish come first et a fetishist will have huge problem to get sexually aroused when not using his fetish. The partner will feel used and if the couple does not fix the situation, it is the beginning of the end. For many fetishist, therapy and a lot of work is necessary to fix this daily problem. If you are one of them, don't stay by yourself, get help if you need to and you feel that you are losing your battle. Fetishism does not fix itself . Sometime, fetishism even become a huge problem. Get help if you are suffering from this.

 

Julie Pelletier

Jounal de Montréal. Page 30

Sunday, March 20 2005

 

We have this article on our website because we believe that it explain well what is a fetish.

But we disagree with the conclusion of Julie Pelletier's article. Even the "Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM)" which is the reference for the mental health specialists, is clear about fetishism: If the fetishism is well under the fetish person control, the fetishism is not a problem. Of course, if the fetishism is out of control, this need to be address.

Pierre and Catharine

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