The marvelous world of BDSM
by Maître Pierre
I never know what to answer when we receive this type of email.
Often, people write to us to comment or even to ask help about a reality in BDSM:
The question: "Why is there so much gossip, political games, jealousy and traitors in BDSM?"
I often claimed that I am one who believes in Santa Claus and yet, I am very cynical in my belief of the BDSM world. Look into your "vanilla" life; at work, with the neighbor, friends and family; in our society, relationship rules are based on norms that are not always clear and logical. Appearances and social advancement are far more important than respect and open mindness.
We all have life experiences at work, where personal advancement is often achieved at the expense of the company's better management. What about family affairs where many put so much effort in "showing off" there personal fortune to prove to all that they are "better" than the others. The "Me, Myself and I" becomes so important in our society, and yet, we are taught that we must apply values of sharing and open mindness in our education, values that are step on each other, all the time, in the war of power!
I have been active in music, esoteric groups and even in my DJ service; politics was a daily reality. These little wars about power, were part of life. Hell! I did my part in these little wars, believing that these dirty little games were a normal part of things. Catharine has her own example of this in editorial in our "opinion section".
A long time ago, someone said: "Where you have men, you have men's games." I believe that BDSM is a "mirror" of our society. For some, it is of utmost importance to show off their beautiful sub, the sexy outfit or their more expensive and better toys. To demonstrate to all that they are more extreme and violent in their S&M. For others, belonging to an elitist group, being close to the "head" of the group to be part of the decision machine where the control is more important than the BDSM need itself! I often say that the politics in BDSM are more "pure" than "regular" politics. You know, where the politicians use the cover of serving the community for their own personal gain. In BDSM, for some, the need is all about controlling others (their subs or a group).
To survive in today's society, you must be smart and tough. Today's world is a jungle where the rules are not always clear and where the weak is not always the one you would think is. The ones who don't know how to defend themselves get eaten. It is the rule of the jungle. Fairness is optional.
In BDSM, this is a reality. Our personal quest in BDSM is all about our needs. Even if you are a sub, you are looking to fulfill this need, the "Me, Myself and I" becoming the center of YOUR need.
I must seem cruel to you when I say:
In BDSM, there is no room for the weak. Sad but necessary. When I started to be "public" in BDSM, I witnessed the politics in the lifestyle. I wasn't especially surprised, I expected it. Yet, many get into BDSM hoping to find heaven on earth. Remember, in heaven....there was the apple tree...with a snake in it!
I am the first one to hope that BDSM (and the world) will become a better place, but if someone gets into BDSM and is clueless, this person will be VERY disappointed. I will even claim that there is no room for such people in BDSM.
To survive in today's world or in BDSM you must be strong (more so if you are a sub!!!!!). Being aware of reality is a key!
Are you weak or strong?
ŠTHE BDSM CIRCLE 2008